TACO BOX

If you're looking for a hole in the wall, you can't get any more literal than the Taco Box. This spot is nothing more than an ordering window with a counter and barstools lined up outside, making it nearly impossible to visit during the coldest winter months, which, in a way, is part of the charm. Taco Box typifies the best of the New York taco, it's high end, with modern or fusion twists and prices to match. It's places like this that are teaching me New York doesn't make bad tacos (all the time), but your choices are the fancy taco or something dry and flavorless, suspiciously made along side a plate of general tso's chicken. The Taco Box is the former option, and provides a comparable list of quality meats with some modern twists like short rib and sautéed rock shrimp accompanied with fancy sauces. I tried just about everything they had to offer, here's how it breaks down:

They are as tasty as they look

Taco: 5/5 The meats are, across the board, pretty darn excellent. The ones to try especially are the Pollo, Al Pastor, and Chorizo. The pollo in particular was some of the best grilled chicken taco I've had in NY, tender, flavor, and melts in the mouth. The chorizo is wisely cut with egg in an appropriate balance of spicy, greasy, and delicious. The al pastor was crispy and sweet, with a number of distinct flavors of pineapple and smokey BBQ, definitely worth getting. Honorable mention goes to the short rib, which was tender and dripping with sauce and juice, a much better alternative to the bistec, which I found lacking flavor and a little gamey. 

A pricey taco for a place with no roof

Value: 1/5 Perhaps I should change the name of this blog to "the over priced taco blog". I get it, rent is expensive, and food prices inflate to match, but when you don't actually have a restaurant, but rather a literal hole in the wall, you'd think the cost per taco would reduce dramatically. Isn't there some sort of rule out there for the price of a taco in a place where I can get rained on?What really killed me was the $3.50 vegetarian taco, which is WAY too much for beans, veggies, and guacamole. The tacos themselves seem large, but I ate six of them, so either they are not filling, or they were super delicious and I was starving. Either way, this taco outing cost me about $20.

Sriracha I can go with, but Tabasco?

Accoutrement: 4/5 They provide two homemade salsas, a red and green, which are both quite good, and then an assortment of bottled sauces, which didn't at all match the quality of the other offerings (Tabasco? Really?). But the clincher is that each taco is provided with its own special toppings that were an excellent fit to the offered meat. Nopales, avocado-lime mayo, chili habanero, and crunchy chicharrones all show up and add an extra kick to make the taco that much better.

Forgot to take a pictures before biting in. I'm not even sorry.

Other: 3/5 I give them an extra point for the outdoor seating, but that is about all they have in terms of 'extras'. There are too few stools, and the slanted bar make it a little awkward to eat at.  Excellently panfried tortillas though. And they get one more point for their provocative name, about which I have tried to go this entire post without making an innuendo, and have now failed.

Overall: 4/5 Taco Box is definitely worth a visit, but the cost makes it prohibitive as a regular go to joint. It's too bad, since the food is actually quite good as I'd love to drop by the place every time I'm in the area, but I also don't feel like spending $15+ on my taco habit. Still, if you've got the itch, it's a good place to scratch it.

Dos Toros Taqueria

 Dos Toros Taqueria is basically the local version of Chipotle, and everybody likes Chipotle. So, if you're one of the 3 or 4 Manhattanites who don't want to support a national chain, this place is for you. They also have a location in Williamsburg, but I can't imagine people who live in Williamsburg read this blog since the half-dozen regular readers have likely made it too trendy for their hipster ways. Besides, the number of young and hip people with beards (not in a mountain man sort of way) that populate this hole-in-the-wall suggest it is already a known spot for those of a certain cultural bent. 

Anyway, this place doesn't feel anything like a Chipotle clone, and there are subtle distinctions in craftsmanship and quality that make a huge difference and give Dos Toros a definitive edge. So I take back what I said, it's not a Chipotle clone at all. They claim to bring Bay Area style Mexican to New York. Here's my take on it:

Note the delicate tortillas and delicious toppings

The Taco: (5/5) The tacos themselves are delicious. The meats are grilled and tender and juicy and in all other ways delightful. It's not just the quality of the meat that stands out, this is a whole package type of place. The balance of toppings to tortilla is carefully done and all the tortillas are freshly made daily. Attention to detail here is key, and they get it done right. For instance, they use a monterey jack cheese and briefly melt it onto the tortilla before before adding other toppings, which perfectly binds the whole taco together and ensures an even distribution of cheesiness throughout. 

Pre-melted cheesy goodness

Accoutrement:(4/5) They offer up two different salsas, both made in house, and both quite delicious. There's a standard red (spicy) and green (less so) variety, and they are actually spicy for realz, but in a delicious and flavorful way. Also, they offer guacamole as an extra on anything, and it's only a $1 charge. This was always an annoying sticking point with me and Chipotle where the addition of the green goodness will put you a solid $2.50 back. Guacamole shouldn't cost me the price of another taco.

This is what you get for the price of a burrito

Value: (1/5) Gird your loins for a short rant. $4 a taco is too damn much.  And they're fairly small. The standard taco vs. burrito pricing model has simply been ignored. For the price of a burrito, one should get the equivalent amount of food so that the price per meal (PPM for short) is about the same. All other items on their streamlined menu follow the same PPM model, but only two tacos is the same price as a burrito, and two is only half of a meal. The combination of smallness and delicious make it so that I could eat these tacos for days and never want to stop. But then my wallet would empty and I'd only have hunger and tears to fill it. Make them $2.00-$2.50 a piece and throw in some chips and we'll have an appropriate PPM that matches everything else.

They certainly don't hide what makes them special. Makes my job easier tough.

Other: (4/5) True to their Bay Area roots, Dos Toros is big on the sustainability bandwagon. I feel the same about being green as I do about Dave Matthews Band, I love the thing itself but can't stand the fans. That being said, they do a great job of attending to little sustainable details, down to their receipt tape, which is BPA free (yes, this is a thing). Their chicken and beans are locally sourced and organic, and even the tables and chairs are made from reclaimed wood. Overall, it lends a feeling of care and attention that goes beyond the decor. 

Overall: (4/5) The reality is the Bay Area isn't known for its tacos, you go to LA for that. The Bay is all about burritos, and for burritos I'll be a regular here. The Burritos are delicious and have an appropriate PPM, but the truth is I'm a taco guy, and when I go into a place that has taqueria in the title, that's what I want to get. I walk by one of their locations all the time, and the memory of those sweet flavors entice me to go in, but then I remember the price, and I can't bring myself to shell out the cash. If, however, you are looking for tasty eats you can feel good about, and don't mind spending a pretty penny on them, this is the place for you. Especially if you have a beard.

Big Nick's (Upper West Side)

This place has all the trappings of a New York institution. The seating is cramped, the layout labyrinthine, and the menu overwhelming in its size and variety. Which is ironic since the only thing people want to eat there is pizza, hot dogs, and burgers. And the hot dogs are worth it. They aren't the sort of trendy deep fried meat stick covered with eclectic toppings or an Asian-American fusion of heart clogging cuisine; they're just plain ol' New York street meat served up in large portions for a decent price, a good variety of toppings, and the sort of twist that makes you want to go back at least once or twice more to figure out which variation you like the best. Over the last few months, I've had the opportunity to try the hot dog in a blanket, daily double, and the Kobe beef dog.

The Kobe Beef Stick. Who could ask for anything more?

The dog: 4/5 would I take visiting friends to this place straight away? Probably not, it lacks flash and panache, the glamour needed for a 5/5. But as a regular local spot, this is where to go. If I lived closer, I'd be eating porch-style grilled  Kobe beef dogs all the time. Need a place for a date? Try splitting the daily double, two good sized and juicy dogs that come with the requisite coleslaw and fries. And if it all feels like its been done before, go for the hot dog in a blanket, wonderfully wrapped in fresh pizza dough making a sort of hot dog calzone that's worth the extra wait.

The basics, but everything you need for deliciousness

Acoutrement: 3/5 its a diner, so they've got all the basics you need and can accommodate your heathen request for ranch dressing on your hot dog. If you're looking for a rosemary bacon aioli, this ain't the place for you.

Value: 3/5 what you pay and what you get are totally reasonable. It's certainly a meal and comes at no more than $10, which seems fair. If you're not ravenous, it's often large enough to split a single plate and a side. I've never much cared if my hot dog is 'Kobe' or not, and the inflation in price usually makes it not worthwhile, but this one is huge and still stays under $10. It's my recommended go-to if you're looking for a honking piece of tubular happiness.

Pizza Dough wrapped hotdog. Juicy and plump and good.

Other: 3/5 there's certainly plenty of 'other' at big nicks. Can't claim to have even made a dent in sampling the rest of the menu, though I understand their burgers are the big offering. They seem delicious enough.

Overall: 4/5 as I said, a solid local spot. If you want to get off the beaten tourist path or want to explore a new neighborhood joint, try out Big Nick's. In a polished upper west side world, it's nice to have this unchanged dive/diner that's endured through the years.

AsiaDog

When I refer to a 'hole in the wall' and hot dogs, people usually look at me funny. But I'm actually talking about AsiaDog. When I talk about asian fusion, that could be AsiaDog too. When I say I want a hip, cool, different take on something familiar, this is the spot I can go to find satisfaction. Will it be my go-to spot for when I need a funky hot dog? Probably not, the seating is limited and feels more like a takeout/delivery spot than where I might go to hangout and munch on tasty treats, but the food is good and varied and worth popping into if you're on the edge of soho/china town and want a variation of the classic New York street food.

A delicious and gooey mess, this one.

The Dog 4/5
If someone asked me how I liked the dog, I'd have to answer, which one? Variety is the name of the game at the place, and that alone will have me stopping in again if I'm in the area. There are beef, chicken, veggie, and organic options, a myriad of topping combinations, and corn dogs. Of the four dogs tried during my visit, they were described as light, fresh, and somehow 'healthy' (Except the last one with a thick layer of deliciously heart clogging mayo). I am, of course, completely skeptical of any hot dog that seems healthy, but the dog, by itself without other considerations, was pretty good. What really makes the meal, though, are all the toppings for each dog style. So.....

Why is there purple on this hot dog?

Accoutrement 5/5
This was the big win at this place. Each menu item comes with an astounding array of toppings or spreads or additions that boggle the mind but balance on the palate quite well. Simple combinations with a twist like curry kraut and yellow mustard to more complicated mashups like pork pâté, spicy aioli, cucumber, carrots, daikon, jalapeños, and cilantro. And just for fun, you get an option of white or wheat buns. There doesn't, however, seem to be much flexibility in the topping options. This is both an up and downside. The downside is, no personal creative flourishes on your meal, but the upside is a reassurance that each dog has a perfectly grouped collection of toppings as finely crafted as a bonsai tree (or other ambiguously Asian metaphor).

Value 3/5
Expect to spend about $12-15 if you arrive with an appetite. It's not the worst (certainly not a $16 wiener) and for the price you definitely get a unique hot dog experience. Still, when you hit that $5 mark, organic or no, for a hot dog (not a sausage mind you, which is an additional dollar or two) it starts feeling pricey. There is also little flexibility in the pricing, so don't expect to play cheap and go with the 'plain' hot dog, that ain't a choice (and go get a job while you're at it, you parasite on society). This isn't a basic hot dog kind of place, and offering one unadorned of toppings would be against the ethos of the establishment, so expect a more catered, classier, slightly higher-end experience. They do have some combo specials that'll run you about $9, not bad for a light lunch.

It looks like cheese, but it's carrots and daikon radish.

Other 4/5
I'm torn by this category. There have a great selection of sides including sesame kale, wasabi potato salad, and Korean fries (that come with this aioli sauce that should probably go on everything). I like organic, chicken, and vegan options, and the drink selection and generally clean atmosphere are nice. Would it kill them to have a couple more seats though? We are talking luxury hot dog here. It's not my place to suggest (though that doesn't stop me), but these are classy dogs and they could take this to whole new level by making a holistic experience out of their product. I mean, not just Asian toppings, but go all out with table service by kimono clad waiters, Shaolin chefs, manga wallpaper, incense, and a gong after every order is complete so I can taste the entire Asian continent with my skin when I sit down for a bite. Ya man, that'd be awesome. Just sayin'.

Overall 5/5

Korean Yam Fries, and a sauce to die for.

The more I write about this place, the more I think that it's worth making a special trip to check it out. It isn't the kind of place I can see myself visiting on the regular, but in a world where every wiener starts to look and taste the same, AsiaDog stands out as as stroke of color in often drab landscape of hot doggery. There's enough variation, and its all interesting enough, that I'll definitely drop in again the next time I pass by, and I'd even make a special trip out there if a hot dog loving friend (and all my friends have to like hot dogs) was visiting and wanted something different, I might take them here instead.

David Burke @ Bloomingdale's - The Hot Dog

David Burke In the Box is one of those eateries where you'll see people drinking wine at lunch, more often than not paired with a salad. This may be a New York phenomenon, but I'm leaning towards a classy-people-in-big-cities trend. Of course, because it was created by a celebrity chef, it will have some sort of fusion, in this case between the high and low-brow of american cuisine.

Note the classy white people and tiny plate of food.

Not that any of the menu makes sense or is priced in a particularly affordable way.  Though you can get it at the store for 2 bucks, David Burke's Mac and Cheese sells for $16. Oh, that's because it has chives. Well, it makes sense now. (The mac and cheese with lobster is $24). There is simply no theme to this menu, you can have a meal of Chicken Spring Rolls, with a Pizza Entree and a side of Tabouli Salad or 'Cowboy Beef Chili' (though I prefer my beef made from cow, I was curious what cowboy might taste like).

They also have a Kobe Beef Hot Dog, and I simply had to try it.


The Dog: 2/5

Doesn't look like a hot dog, does it? More like "ode to a hotdog"

I know what you're thinking, a poor rating on a KOBE BEEF hot dog? And yet, here it is. The shape, size, snap, all of those things were excellent. The dog itself? It has none of the classic hot dog essence one might hope for. I couldn't figure out why there was little flavor or spice, or why the texture seemed just a touch off, almost too beefy. And then it dawned on me, this was a healthy hot dog. A good dog has to have a balance of fat and mystery cow bits to be good, but this seemed like straight steak meat. Not that I'd normally complain, but I wanted a hot dog and what I got was a tube shaped pastrami sandwich. 

Acoutrement: 4/5
They get a good score for inventiveness, though I can't say I particularly enjoyed it. Sauerkraut and Sweet Pepper Relish adorn the dog with a bit of dijon to add kick. The Pretzel Bun was FANTASTIC though, and should probably be used for everything hot dog related from now on.

Ah, here we have a more authentic look

Value: 1/5 
This was the major sticking point. $16 is a ridiculous price for a hot dog. Did I really care that it was made from Kobe Beef? Did that taste any different? Not really. It's not like it was so much more tender for being Kobe. If it were organic or grass-fed or included something that actually made a difference, they'd get a '2', but in the end I'd rather have paid $1.50 for a COSTCO dog.


Other: 3/5
I could probably go on way too long in this category. Let's just say when I was asked if I'd like a side of Tabouli Salad or Truffle Fries, I was flummoxed. Lots of unnecessary choices, though the yam fries are a nice idea. The green bean and almond salad still makes no sense to me.

OVERALL: 2/5
Maybe I'd have enjoyed it more if I were drinking wine. Or perhaps I simply want spices and flavor in my hot dog. A Bratwurst, Knockwurst, Polish Sausage, Lousiana Hot Sausage, any of those would have been preferable to what I had. And yet, for some reason I think I'd try it again if I went back. I genuinely have no idea why. 

Patron Mexican Grill

I've been avoiding this tackily branded establishment for a while now. They seemed to pop-up over night, and in locations all over the west side, distracting from the usual jumble of sleek foodie restaurants and gaudy Asian fusion that generally peppers mid-town along 9th avenue.  I'd further avoided Patron  (be warned of the link, the music about to come from your speakers is trite and annoying) because of the unexpectedly high prices for:

a.) Mexican Food, and 
b.) What seems to be a pre-fabricated local chain.

 Even in NY, I don't expect most places that offer a $5 Margarita to charge more than $2.50 for a taco, especially since there is still at least once place in the Lower East Side that offers dollar tacos (on tuesdays only. If you order a beer. Review coming soon).

Anyway, I eventually caved because they were offering a groupon for half off dinner for two, so I grabbed by beau and made her eat tacos with me.  Here's what we found:

The Taco: 4/5

I hate to say it, but the darn thing was pretty good. There is a pattern to ordering tacos in NY, and Patron fits itpretty well.  If you're at a trendy restaurant feel safe ordering the steak, if it's a hole-in-the-wall taco joint stick with Carnitas, Chorizo, Lengua, etc. In general, avoid the chicken. Patron's prices are higher, but it's because they offer tacos with things like nicely marinated and grilled skirt steak. It almost misses the taco experience since it's more like having a nice steak that happens to be wrapped in a corn tortilla, but they save it with a proper marinade and the right sort of toppings. To their credit, their tortillas are handmade and quite good - a quintessential part of the authentic experience often missed in NY. The meat was stellar. Grilled like a steak and chopped after so it may be cooked to order. Tender and delicious. The Carnitas were exceptional and mixed with some sort of sweet fruit (mango? Pineapple?) or perhaps marinated in the right fruit juices that made it a unique treat. If you go with a friend order one of each and split them, you'll be happy you did.

Acoutrement: 2/5

There were sauces, I'm sure of that because I have pictures. They apparently weren't worthy of note taking. I will say that when meat is that good, there is no reason to cover it up with sauces unless they are exquisite. I'd not call them that, I'd call them forgettable, which is too bad because I'm usually a sucker for mysterious looking dark orange sauces. I did enjoy the addition of avocado, that always helps and the side of beans and rice makes it a full meal, but they definitely lacked in the salsa category.

Value: 2/5

Regardless of how much I actually enjoyed the food when it got to my mouth, the price of the place has kept me from going again, which makes me think the final cost/experience ratio is lacking. I was charged $17 for 4 tacos that, while tasty and filling, still comes out to over $4 a taco, and homey don't play that. Go with a groupon or if you plan on balancing your bill with the $5 margaritas.

Other: 2/5

$5 margaritas are noteworthy, though not exceptional, the service was slow, ambiance loud, and the other food offerings were uncomfortably priced for Mexican cuisine. I do need to mention the Avocado fries. Remember when Burger King came out with Chicken Fries? This is disappointingly nothing like that. Avocado fries are a sort of deep fried ice cream, substituting the traditionally delicious dairy product for avocado. This had a ton of potential to be crispy and delicious and cool, but it was overly bready and doughy and....well, just not what one might hope for. So don't be tempted! They sound like a good idea, but if good sounds were delicious, there'd be no such thing as a starving musician.

OVERALL: 3/5

In the end, the tacos were a much better experience than I was expecting but the price/atmosphere/service dragged this rating down pretty far. If your friends are looking for a bar experience and you are looking for tacos (and don't mind shelling out for them) go to Patron, otherwise I'd check some of the earlier blog posts for decent tacos in the $2.50 range.

Crif Dogs

After everything I'd heard about this place, I was expecting something a bit more....grand. Most of the other major dog places in the city have bright and huge signage, multiple locations, and are, well, ABOVE ground. When I walked down the stoop into this punkish underbelly of the lower east side I realized that its understated nature IS the appeal of the spot. 

 Crif Dogs opened in 2001, and it retains the gritty feel of an older lower east side even while the neighborhood becomes more and more overcome by the encroaching hipster culture and the pretentious denizens of NYU. Crif dogs comfortably nestles in an area filled with pipe shops, tattoo parlors, edgy thrift stores; when I walked down the stoop into the semi-underground shop and saw the video game machines dating back from the 80's (Double-dragon anyone?),  I knew I had found a true hipster heaven. My only hope was that, like so many fads, there was some sort of fabulous underlay that caused all this hype in the first place. 

Somehow they wrap the bacon and make it crispy.  How? HOW?!

The Dog: 4/5

In the end, it's just a bunch of mystery beef and pork bits, but it's still pretty tasty. They have a couple of different options, the 'snappy all-beef frankfurter' which is basically an NY Coney Island type dog, and the 'Crif Dog' which is a handmade pork and beef mix.  I personally like the all-beef version better, but I appreciate their daring do and the Crif Dog is quite good as well.  The only reason is doesn't get a 5 is because Kobe-Beef dogs exist in this world, and there has to be room left for the best.  All in all, a tasty, snappy, quintessential type dog.

Acoutrement: 6/5

These sorts of toppings will get you hung in parts of Europe

Look, I know this isn't a real score, but any place that offers sour cream, pineapple, scallions (all together mind you), or bagel seeds (something else I'm pretty sure isn't real) than you get extra credit types of points. Crif Dogs has a substantial menu, considering they basically just serve hot dogs, and it's all because of the different combinations of toppings. Cream cheese, you can get a cream cheese dog. It's almost offensive in its boundary breaking.

Value: 4/5

A basic dog will run you less than $3, many of the toppings can be had for free, and the more exotic combinations don't add up to more than $5. That's only a touch more expensive than a Nathan's Famous, but you get real toppings and don't have to swim through a deluge of tourists. In addition, they have value packs that are mysterious assortments of food not divulged on the menu. I'm saving that for a future adventure.

Also, Spy Hunter.  Man I love that joystick.

Other: 5/5

Tater Tots.  Need I say more?  They also have a secret speakeasy in the evenings that can be accessed through the phone booth.  It's called Please Don't Tell. Oops.

OVERALL: 5/5

Not gonna lie, I've already been there multiple times. If I could drag my ass to the lower east side more often, I'd likely be there weekly, it's that good. I've also brought friends, cousins, and girlfriends to check it out. You should too. And then you should take me. And then I'll take you. And then we'll just go together as buddies one more time. Yup.

You see the joy in his eyes?  You want this.

King Gray's Papaya Dog

Here is a strange phenomenon: apparently people in the city have simultaneous insatiable cravings for 'healthy' exotic smoothy type drinks and inexpensive hot dogs. Come to think of it, I often feel a craving for the succulent savory flavor of tube-meat after eating a well balanced and nutritious meal, so maybe it's not all that strange.

Well, Are You?  ARE YOU?!

Anyway, there are a whole bunch of places in the city that fit this bill and, to the untrained eye, they may all seem exactly the same, especially since their names consist of a similar combination of the word 'Papaya' (for the featured smoothie drink) and some qualifier.  As it is right now the three most visible are:

1. Papaya King

2. Gray's Papaya

3. Papaya Dog

You can see where confusion might occur.  While the hot dog itself is basically the same damn thing at any of the locations, there are some important difference that I'll share with you here. 

PAPAYA KING

This is the original smoothie/hot dog place, located in a posh neighborhood on the upper east side.  Actually, it was originally located in a Polish neighborhood, and all they really wanted was to serve fruit drinks, but the eastern European working class denizens of the time demanded the delicate flavor of griddle-fried meat sticks, so they added hot dogs to the menu.

 The Tradition continues today as they still serve a bizarre blend of salty meats and 'healthy' drinks.  Of all the varieties in the city, Papaya King has the most diverse collection of hot dogs and toppings as well as the most variety in drinks, smoothies, and fresh squeezed juices.  They're also the only one to expand outside of NY, having opened a location in Hollywood.

Like so many other tales of innovation and greatness, this one too has enough drama to keep it interesting.  In 1973 one of the partners of Papaya King broke off from the mother ship and created...

GRAY'S PAPAYA 

Even more than it's parent hotdoggery, Gray's Papaya has arguably made the biggest splash in the healthy drink/hotdog combo world.  It's made appearances in movies, television, and even politics (mostly famously endorsing President Obama during his presidential campaign).  They have the most streamlined menu of all the different dog/fruit places offering a simple selection of smoothies and hot dogs to eat, no sausages, no chicken fingers, no nothin'.  I'd also say they're the nastiest of the places (at least, the upper west side location) and the most overpriced, but I guess that's the cost of eating trendy.  Finally, there is:

  PAPAYA DOG

Perhaps it's my inherent soft spot for the underdog (pun intended), but of all the locations mentioned, this is the one I frequent the most.  

I don't know where Papaya Dog came from, I don't think it has such a sordid past as Gray's Papaya, it's probably just a regular old knock-off, but it's cheap, has a melted cheese topping for hot dogs, and offers a whole bunch of other great crappy foods like fries and hamburgers and even vegetarian options, which, indigestible as they are, at least go with the whole theme of the healthy smoothies.  Let's get to the ratings, shall we?

The Dog: 3/5 (4/5 for the sausages)

Honestly, they really are all about the same, and quite similar to Nathan's Coney Island dog.  I know hot dog connoisseurs around the city are freaking out as they read this and I'm probably losing tons of street cred by saying so, but it's basically true.  They're long and thin and salty as hell, but they beat the pants of a dirty water dog from your typical street vendor.  Papaya King and Papaya Dog both offer a sausage dog as well, which is basically the same damn thing just fatter and fits in the bun better, which I like.  The bun-to-dog ratio is very important.  (Ok, the sausage at Papaya Dog is inferior to that of Papaya King, but Papaya Dog is two blocks from my house, so I'm biased). 

Accoutrement: 

5/5 Papaya King                        4/5 Papaya Dog                      1/5 - Gray's Papaya              This, ladies and gentlemen, is where it really starts to matter, so pay close attention.  In a world where most hot dogs are basically the same phallic shaped bit of deliciousness, sometimes it's the toppings that make all the difference.  Here Papaya King wins out.

 I haven't given a 5/5 in this category yet, but I'm doing it because they've provided an option I've never seen before: eggs.  They offer what I've always looked for, a genuine breakfast hot dog.  They also offer fries on their dogs, crunchy onion, chili, cheese, the whole nine yards.  Except mayo, only Papaya Dog seems to offer that, which for me is a necessity to fully enjoy the dog experience.  Papaya Dog doesn't offer quite as much exotic variety as it's Kingly older brother, but it has plenty of topping variety including chile and cheese, onions, and all the standards.

And then there's Gray's Papaya, silly place that it is.  Only Ketchup and Mustard.  Oh, and onion.  They may also have Kraut.  Totally inadequate.  For being such a famous place you'd think they'd offer some decent options, but perhaps there is a certain elegance in simplicity.  If you're into that sort of thing.  Me, I like toppings, hence the low rating.

Value: 

4/5 (Papaya King and Papaya Dog), 

3/5 (Gray's Papaya)

All these different spots have basically the same special, a combination of dogs, usually two frankfurters, with a drink (sometimes fries thrown in) for around $5.  It's really not bad at all, though by comparison to the others, Gray's Papaya falls short.  Papaya King is a touch more expensive, but I do have to admit that the quality is better.  They also have the best variety of combination options.  Papaya Dog has a number of good combo options and is the cheapest, though the lower quality of the sausage is a bit of a bummer.  Frankfurters are basically the same though, and they're combo comes with fries.  Gray's, however, is the same as Papaya Dog, but a dollar more with no fries.  Generally, a big lose.

Other: 4/5 (Papaya King, Papaya Dog) 2/5 (Gray's papaya)

Papaya King just offers lots of cool stuff, including fresh squeezed juice, which is great.  Papaya Dog offers all your basic fast food items, sans pizza, but the variety makes it easier to cajole your mom, girlfriend, coworker, etc. to go there with you since there's something for everyone.  Gray's only offers dogs and smoothies, which they all offer.  It's a cool extra for a hotdog place, but in comparison they are way behind.

OVERALL SCORE:

Papaya King 5/5 

Papaya Dog 4/5

Gray's papaya 2/5

 When it's all said and done, you can't beat the king; they've got options, class, and history on their side.  If you happen to be in the neighborhood then definitely check it out.  Papaya Dog gets a 4 because I go there all the time and the value is really quite outstanding.  The atmosphere sucks and I wouldn't use it as a date spot, but in a pinch it's great.  Gray's is also decent in a pinch but I always feel a little ripped off.  I'm bummed by the lack of topping and other options and that extra dollar feels like a hefty expense for what you get.  So, now you know.  Choose wisely.

Shake Shack NYC (44th and 8th ave.)

My apologies for the long time between posts.  I know many of my faithful readers have been sick with anticipation for my next review, and y'all deserve better, hopefully my new work schedule will allow for more frequent food adventures, though I have to say the total lack of inspiration in New York taco makers has made it difficult to find something worth reporting on.  So, in hopes of finding a deeper satisfaction, I've decided to focus a little more on my hot dog fetish.  Let's take a look at Shake Shack, shall we?

Theater District Location, the one I visited.

 The problem I'm finding with New York is that, although it has the reputation of being a hot dog oriented city and there is a dirty water dog cart on just about every block, it's difficult to find a restaurants that actually features a hot dog.  As a back up, I've started to check out popular burger joints that happen to have dogs on the menu.
Shake Shack is a super-popular, expensive and over-hyped staple of the NY area.  It's a lot like In-n-Out Burger in California with similarly long lines and flavor, but with slightly larger menu variety.  Also, they sell beer.  

The line outside the midtown store during the first week of business

I just don't understand the hype of these type of spots.  They're corporate chains with run of the mill food made with so-so ingredients and, in the case of this establishment, it's over-priced.  Is the need for our familiarity and creature comforts so great that we can't appreciate all the much better mom and pop shops that have decently priced homemade food that is thick and juicy and delicious? Alright, before I become too self-righteous, here's my assessment of their dogs.

The Dog: 2/5
There is simply no excuse for the sorts of shenanigans Shake Shack is pulling on the good people of NY.  For all the hype, I can't believe what a disappointment the food was. Their burgers are quite tasty and have a high quality, but they don't put the same love into this woefully mistreated step-child of burger joints. They claim it's a chicago-style dog, split down the middle and griddled perfectly. In my dog's case, griddled perfectly meant served cold and placed normally in a soft and untoasted bun, though it was partly cut in half; but the way they cut it didn't change the poor bun/dog ratio, it didn't change it at all, in fact.  Stupid hot dog. Nice potato bun though, very tasty. But stupid hot dog.

A sample dog.  As you can see: Meh.

What I will give them, and the only thing taking the rating up to a 2/5 is that they provide a number of different options, which I appreciate since I grew up with a bunch of hippies and picky eaters that insist on non-beef options for their hot dogs.  They've got the Bird Dod (made of chicken), and the Garden Dog, which isn't really a dog at all, just the bun with a bunch of toppings on it. This is also the In-n-Out solution for vegetarians, but with Shake Shack not only is it lame, it's unoriginal. Stick with the burgers.


Acoutrement: 3/5
 Okay okay, they do have a lot of toppings, more than usual in fact, though my personal experience was ruined a little by a 'plain' hot dog that was covered in a mountain of sauerkraut.  They claim to have a chicago style dog, which means it's usually got relish, onion, tomato, mustard, cucumber, pickle.  Apparently they also have more exotic toppings on occasion at other locations, but I didn't see it.  Mayo wouldn't have killed them though.


Value: 2/5
$3.50 for a hot dog with just kraut.  If I can get the same or better on the street, it's definitely not a good deal.  Even the organic hot dog place sells it for the same or cheaper and you can get an all-beef properly griddled sausage from most halal carts for $2, so a good value this is not.

As you can see, they have other things.

Other: 3/5
Most everything else here is pretty good, but the lines are long and the place is always packed. I seriously can't tell you why, I'd rather eat at a food cart just about any day instead.  They do have beer. And milkshakes.  That's why it's called Shake Shack. The above review is why it's not called Hot Dog Shack.


OVERALL: 2/5
It just...wasn't good.  Getting served cold was the really big disappointment.  I mean, I know they get busy and all, but if you can't take the time to cook your food things have got to change.  The lines are just silly, especially since they trail outside and down the block.  Their other food is good, just over-priced and over-hyped, and the hot dog sucks.  And now you know, and knowing is half the battle.