Taqueria Lower East Side (198 Orchard st. and Houstan)

Here's the deal, anyone can put together some greasy shlock in a corn tortilla and call it a taco, but it takes true care and artistry to make that folded bit of starch and lipids a delectable delight.  It takes more than just cooking talent, it takes soul.  Taqueria of the Lower East Side, I take my hat off to you.

To be fair, I was skeptical at first.  This area of the lower east side seems completely devoid of any sort of Latin flavor, it's a white-washed-too-cool-for-school-tragically-hip area populated by what are most likely recent NYU grads, my least favorite sub-species of New Yorker.  The combination of an amazing offensive woods statue depicting a 'traditional' Mexican and Ferris Bueller's Day Off playing on the TVs with some generic indie rock in the background didn't help my prejudice either, but I figured it's my job to try it anyway, so in I went.  

The Stunningly Racially Insensitive Statue

The menu seemed decent and continually insisted on the restaurant's authenticity (measured by the lack of sour cream on the menu; I think it's mentioned 4 or 5 separate times), but it was only when they served an initial basket of chips and salsa that my opinion changed.   They were thick homemade chips with a killer salsa piquante that was flavored and spicy as hell.  And then came the tacos.


The Taco: 5/5
I wasn't sure where to start since I ordered a smattering of Cactus (napolitos), Chorizo, Bistec, and Barbacoa (lamb).  I figured I'd start with the cactus since that would probably suck the most.  The Heaven's opened, my friends, and little taco shaped angels came pouring through and into my mouth.  I nearly wept with joy, partly because of the spicy salsa, partly because it had been so long since I'd had a decent taco, but also because of the soul-stirring combination of crispy pan-fried tortilla and greasy meat.  The pounding flavor of spice and lipids was an onslaught of deliciousness, and it was only then that I knew the taco culture of NY had finally been redeemed.  The Lamb was perfectly marinated without that distinct and pungent lamb taste, the Chorizo had great definition of flavor, and the Bistec was pretty darn good too, though not the feature.  I can't wait to try all the other flavors they have including picadillo, pescado, and cecina. 

At long last, real honest to god street tacos in NY

Acoutrement:  4/5
The toppings were actually quite good, just not huge in range.  All tacos were served with cilantro, onion, and lime, some with crema fresca or cotija as well, and all with a homemade salsa piquante.  I'd have liked a traditional salsa bar with some piquante options, but I'll live without it.  The tortillas were excellent, not too big and nicely pan-fried to a perfect crispiness just the way mama used to make it, if mama had been a mexican señora.


Value: 4/5
You're gonna spend about $10 here plus drinks, which is pretty good for what you get, but it's not exactly dollar taco amazing.  The average taco is $2.50 with some going to $3, reasonable for tacos in NY if you are getting quality.  3 or 4 make a good meal, though you might be tempted to eat more just because it's so freakin' good.

Didn't understand the puppets, but I understand the drink.

Other: 3/5
Staff was very friendly and they have fun decorations with a largely California theme plus a couple hanging marionettes that I didn't really get.  Just watch out as the clientele will largely be hipsters or people looking for tacos after painting the town red. 


Overall: 5/5
It's the real deal people, it's the kind of place you write home about and then insist on taking your friends because you finally found the best tacos in NY.  Doesn't mean I won't stop looking, but so far they've got everything else in the area beat hands-down. 

Rippers (Far Rockaway Beach, 86th st.)

When I found this place I was actually looking for a much talked about taco joint on Rockaway Beach (rockaway taco, in fact).  When I found said 'taco' place, they only had some mexican-eque food, but not actual tacos.  In pure disgust I decided to drown my sorrows in a day full of hot dogs.  Good thing too, I discovered tasty delights.

This is the shop sign.  They obviously live on their reputation, not advertising.

In this particular part of the beach, this is really the only spot to eat making it a no brainer decision.  A bit further up the beach there is a collection of other spots conglomerated together (including the hateful fake taco place), but go with this one.  The discerning crowds should be enough to convince you, but just in case you need more prodding to try one of the better foods on the beach, read on.

Happy half-naked crowds!

  The Dog: 5/5

 Of course, the most important category, and I have to say, it was a surprise and delight.  I mean, when dealing with a little shack on the beach that basically has the exclusive market of food on this section of sand, I'd expect the quality to be so-so and the prices exorbitant.  But the dog was...excellent.  Really more of a sausage, but still retaining it's inherent hot-dog-ness.  A great snap to the dog with a fairly tough casing that was fun to bite through.  It's big, round, plump, and juicy, and it's even got a little bit of a spicy kick.  And the size!  Not too big!  Not too little!  Frequent readers will know of my obsession with the hotdog/bun ratio problem and they solved it but having dogs that fit the nice soft (potato?) bun precisely both in length and height.  Well played Rippers, well played.

A nice shot of the dog.

Value: 3/5

$4.00, not bad for a plump, sausage like dog, but it's not exactly a great deal either.  At least they don't rip you off for 'beach' food.  

Acoutrement: 4/5

A nice shot of the toppings.  Too tasty to wait for pics.

 They had everything I needed to enjoy my dog completely, and with some extras as well.  Mayo, ketchup, spicy mustard, relish, and hot sauce.  They also have cheese, jalapeños, and kraut for ¢.50, not bad.  Nothing special to brag about, but they cover all the bases well and you could probably talk them into adding some more toppings from the hamburger/salad area if you wanted.

Other: 4/5

 Juices!  Beers!  Weird Drinks!  The beach!  I mean, some of the things seem a little incongruous, like I wasn't expecting an entire health/juice bar on one part of the menu and delicious hot dogs on the other, but I'll accept it.     

Don't be confused by the other beige boxes that look exactly the same.

Some drinks to take note of, the spicy lemonade and the specialty juice mixes.  I'd avoid the ice tea though.  Also, they have a slew of salads and other healthy type things, which goes along with this vaguely eco-healthy-hippy thing they have going on.  The packaging of the foods is all post-consumer recycled paper and is again recyclable which appeals to the bleeding heart liberal/Oregonian/Nature child in me.  You know, the part that doesn't live on processed meats.

Overall: 4/5

  And why the hell not?  I mean really?  I'd go there again in a heartbeat if I found myself in the area.  It's not necessarily the kind of place I'd go out of my way to eat at, but if I was in that area again I'd definitely make the trek down the beach.  It's good, not too pricey, and just different enough that it stood out among all the other countless hotdogs I've had, in a good way.